I pulled a card from Isha Lerner's Triple Goddess Tarot for you. I hope it means something to you.
Your card is No. 15 Karmic Imprints.
"You darkness, that I come from, I love you more than all the fires that fence in the world – for the fire makes a circle of light for everyone, and then no one outside learns of you. But the darkness pulls in everything: shapes, and fires, animals, and myself, how easily it gathers them! --powers and people. And it is possible a great energy is moving near me. I have faith in nights."
Rainer Maria Rilke
Life is a quarry, out of which we are to mold and chisel and complete a character. –Goethe
To go in the dark with a light is to know light. To know the dark, go dark. Go without sight, and find that the dark, too, blooms and sings, and is traveled by dark feet and dark wings. –Wendell Berry
Alchemy and Transformation:
At this stage of initiation, the ego meets the daunting task of unraveling and unmasking itself in surrender to the Divine. The price of pursuing true freedom can be very high, at least from the vantage point of the ego; to the extent one is unable to let go of the trappings of the false self, a deep, spiritual form of suffering may result. We must enter the path of awakening through love.
Awakening to the Archetype – Kali:
The Hindu Goddess Kali appears at this time to help you along the path. She stands guard, sword in hand, seeking to clear the demons of the unconscious that may obstruct your progress toward liberation. Perhaps the most ruthlessly compassionate of the Dark Goddesses, Kali will do whatever it takes to wake you up from the dream of your life. Do not fear. Love heals all.
In accepting our weaknesses, we find our greater strengths. When we discover the root of our suffering, we can weed out the debris of our past and bring our fears to the light. At this point on the path, body work, hands on healing, and soul retrieval work can be very effective, for karmic imprints are stored deep within the body. Having your astrological chart done can also be helpful, especially if the astrologer is able to read the karmic imprints within the chart pattern. Vibrational remedies, such as flower essences and homeopathy can also be very helpful in releasing subliminal forces of negativity held within the soul.